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Kisses,
Tammy Lynn
The Yankee Gentleman and His Southern Belle
Prologue
“Joshua, you know what today will bring. Do you think she will be strong enough to handle it?”
Joshua Chamberlain stood behind his true love, Miss Victoria Chambers, his hands resting around her waist and smiled. “Oh, my precious Tori, I know today will bring her a love like she has never known. This will be the last generation that will be separated. Everything that comes their way, they will be able to handle it. But just in case, my love, let’s be sure we are there for them every step of the way.”
“She is the epitome of gracious Southern Belle, Tori. Your daughter and granddaughter taught her well.” Joshua left Tori, knowing she would be coming soon.
Chapter One
Miss Kitten Chambers was indeed the epitome of a gracious Southern Belle. She lived on a Southern Plantation called Tara in rural Albemarle, North Carolina. Tara was a former tobacco plantation. The days of the flourishing tobacco industry had come and gone. To adapt to changing times the plantation had been converted to harvesting Sunflower seeds for the oil they contained. Instead of slaves harvesting tobacco by hand. Large cultivator's and harvesting machines were used to efficiently harvest the 500 acre plantation's crops. Miss Kitten ran the plantation with the help of her foreman Randall. Randall did the hiring and directed the operations. Miss Kitten was in charge of the household staff of six that kept Tara in pristine condition. Miss Kitten daily had her water on the veranda, as had been a tradition of hers since childhood. On a warm hazy humid summer day. Miss Kitten was relaxing on the veranda when she noticed a car coming up the long drive to the plantation. Miss Kitten asked her gardener Avery to see what the person wanted. As the car pulled in front of the house Miss Kitten noticed that the cars’ license plates were from Maine. Such a distance for a person to travel, she thought. What on earth would bring this person here? The gentleman stepped from his car and addressed the gardener.
“Sir, my name is EJ Chamberlain and I ask that you'd please announce to the owner of this fine plantation that I am here to see them.”
Miss Kitten had heard the conversation and stood to her feet. “Sir, I am the owner. What can I do for you?” Miss Kitten noticed the gentleman was very handsome. Gray hair, gray moustache, broad muscular physique, about six feet tall. He looked like the embodiment of a Civil War General. Even dressed in dark blue jeans with a dark blue polo shirt. He reminded her of her favorite actor Richard Gere. By now EJ was at the foot of the veranda.
Miss Kitten put out her hand and EJ took it gently and kissed her white glove. Miss Kitten always dressed eloquently, except for when she was working, then it was jeans and tank tops. Her blonde hair meticulously cared for. Her summer dress elegant but casual enough to be comfortable. She was a breathtaking lady. EJ seemed to be taken by her.
Never at a loss for words, EJ stared at her beauty for a while so he could collect his thoughts. “Madam it is my pleasure to know you.” said EJ.
“Why, thank you, sir.” Kitten smiled.
“May I explain to you why I am here madam?” EJ was entranced by her already.
Miss Kitten asked EJ to join her on the veranda for something to drink. As he sat down he began to tell Miss Kitten a story that intrigued her.
“Back in 1863 my great-grandfather, Josh Chamberlain, had served as a General in the Civil War.” EJ had done much research to follow his Grandfather's story as he moved through the South back in those trying years of war and sorrow. “My great-grandfather was wounded in a battle not far from this plantation. It seems through historical records that this very plantation served as a makeshift hospital for wounded Southern soldiers.”
“I remember my grandmother telling me stories as a child. Stories of a handsome Yankee soldier that my great-grandmother had met during the war. He had been brought here in the middle of the night by a couple of cavalry soldiers. He was bleeding severely and near death. It seems my great-grandmother nursed this man back to health. Even to the point of changing his uniform to a Rebel uniform to keep him from being shot as a Yankee. She told me this General was very charming, educated, articulate and a romance bloomed between the two. He was here for over two years. As soon as General Chamberlain was able to travel, they both knew their time together had to end. They came from two different worlds. Time, history and fate had brought them together for a brief but life changing romantic relationship. My great-grandmother had hoped one day that General Chamberlain would one day return. In fact she waited on her veranda for many hours hoping he would ride or even walk up the driveway and fulfill her dreams. But it was not meant to be, as far as I know. General Chamberlain went back to Maine and became Dean of Bowdoin College. My great-grandmother eventually met my great-grandfather and they were married. After he died, there was talk that she met General Chamberlain again, but to this day I don’t have any proof of that.”
EJ looked at Miss Kitten, knowing more secrets, but not wanting to spill them just yet. When he knew her better then maybe he would tell her, just to see how she reacted. He wondered if she looked like the wonderful lady his great-grandfather had fallen in love with. He knew he looked like his great-grandfather. He wondered briefly if Miss Kitten wondered the same thing, thinking she looked like her great-grandmother.
Miss Kitten stared at EJ. From the descriptions in the journals and diaries she had read, she knew that he was the exact replica of the General her grandmother had spoken about. In her great-grandmother’s journals there was eloquent entries about how they would spend time talking and laughing, and, though it was unheard of in her day, long hot kisses in the room the General had. One entry that had always made her lose her breath was the day they first kissed. General Chamberlain had been in the room he stayed in, rebel soldiers had just left and her great-grandmother, Miss Victoria, had been scared they were going to find her out for harboring a Yankee. After they left, Miss Victoria went into the room, tears in her eyes, fearing the worst. General Chamberlain lay on the bed, his eyes closed, until he smelled the faint smell of verbena. Opening his eyes he saw Miss Victoria standing in the doorway, her lavender colored skirt clutched in her hands. Holding out his hand, she came forward and placed her gloved hand in his. He pulled her forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Not bothering to protest, she leaned into the kiss and deepened it, taking his hand and placing it on her breast. Even through the fabric of the dress, the corset wires and petticoat underneath, she could feel the heat of his hand and wanted more. The General had lay back on the bed and looked with pride at his southern belle as she took his other hand to place it on her other breast. Miss Victoria had whispered please and leaned her head to one side as the General sat up completely in bed, wrapping her in his strong embrace, while gently biting her neck. Miss Victoria moaned softly and again whispered please. Before The General could do anything else, there was a knock on the door and Miss Victoria stood up before admitting the person. Miss Kitten looked at EJ and wondered if he had the same spell on her that The General had on Miss Victoria and there was only one way to find out.
“Excuse me, “ she said, “but I need to find out something. You might find this a little forward of me, but I have to know.” Miss Kitten took off her white gloves and placed her hands on EJ’s face, running her fingers slowly and lightly down his cheeks and barely touching his lips with her fingertips. A yearning sensation filled her stomach and an urge like she had never felt before came over her. Closer she stood to him, letting her finger go to the back of his neck, his hair brushing her fingers, and she nudged his head down to hers. Her cool lips, which still had the coolness from the water, met his firm lips, which softened with surprise.
EJ’s arms came around Miss Kitten as the kiss deepened. Never had Miss Kitten felt this way. Never had she been so forward with a man, but she couldn’t stop. Her lips opened as her tongue touched the seam of his lips, which jerked EJ into reality again. Looking at her he smiled and said, “Not that I didn’t enjoy that, but are you sure you should be doing this on the porch where anyone could see?”
Miss Kitten looked at EJ and smiled brightly. “I had to know. You’re just the same as he is, just as I’m the same as she. I have the same overwhelming feelings she did. Like the sharpness of a knife as it pierces the skin, it’s a feeling you can’t describe unless you feel it. I want to feel the same things, experience what she had, but the question is, will you let me? Will you let me act out what I’ve read over and over again, to see if she has been reborn in me like The General has been reborn in you? Will you let that passion they shared take over and not worry about what tomorrow may bring? If I never feel love again, will you let me feel it with you right now?
EJ was a bit taken back by Miss Kittens words. Although he knew exactly what she was feeling. He had long wondered about Josh and Victoria's love affair and was envious of such a torrid love for a woman. He also wondered why it ended so abruptly. Was Josh exposed as a Yankee and forced to flee the woman he loved. There were many lingering questions that he had no answer for. The one thing he did know was that when Kitten touched his face and kissed his lips, there was a magnetism that seemed so right and yet so wrong. He truly wanted to give himself to Kitten at this very moment and let withstraint be thrown to the wind, but being raised a gentleman he decided to take some time to get to know Kitten and make sure his heart was in the right place. He thought it was strange that a place he just drove up to a few minutes ago suddenly felt so much like home. Kitten was indeed a stranger, yet she seemed so familiar at the same time.
"Miss Kitten could you please call me EJ," he said. "I want us to be on a first name basis".
"Why of course EJ" said Kitten. "Please, call me Kitten. Would you like me to show you around Tara?" said Kitten.
"Why yes I'd love that," replied EJ. Kitten took his arm and they entered through the front door and into the parlor. "This is exactly how I'd pictured it" said EJ. "I've read some of my Grandfather's diary where he described Tara as alive with hospitality and elegance."
Kitten slowly walked arm and arm from the parlor to the dining room, pantry, kitchen and ballroom. Then they began to climb the winding staircase to the upstairs bedrooms. Suddenly they both stopped. On the wall halfway up the staircase was a portrait of Miss Victoria. It was astonishing how much she looked liked Kitten. The same soft ivory colored skin. Same beautiful Gold spun colored hair. It was as if she had never died.
"She was beautiful" EJ said.
"Yes she was" replied Kitten. "She was beautiful inside and out. She was such an inspiration to me," replied Kitten. "Filled with compassion and enough love for 10 people.”
"Would you show me the room that my great-grandfather used while he was here?"
"Why yes, it's right up here to the right. In fact I've got a surprise to show you," said Kitten. Slowly they walked to the top of the staircase and to the right. As they entered the bedroom where Josh had stayed, EJ suddenly stopped in awe of what he saw.
On the bed was Josh's military jacket and his Yankee hat. On the jacket and hat was the General's star. Suddenly EJ felt a strange sensation. It was as if he remembered wearing the jacket and hat. The room looked warm and familiar to him also. Kitten put her arm around his neck and asked him if everything was alright. As tears began to fill EJ's eyes he turned to Kitten and looked into her eyes. Their eyes locked and they both reached up and softly touched the others face. They indeed had transcended time and space and were together once again.
As they embraced, EJ softly kissed Kittens lips. "I know that kiss," Kitten said with a smile.
EJ began to take off his shirt and exposed his strong biceps and chest. Kitten kissed his chest and a strong irresistible passion arose within both of them. They undressed one another all the while never taking their eyes off the others face. Their bodies were warm and throbbing for one another. They embraced in a long passionate kiss as their bodies came close together. EJ picked Kitten up in his arms cradling her like a fragile porcelain doll. He took a long gaze at her lovely breasts and ivory colored skin. Then, laying her upon the same bed that Josh and Victoria had once lay on together, he laid on top of her. Kitten spread her legs and EJ entered into her as passion overwhelmed them both. It seemed like they made love for an hour or more. Time stood still. The past and the present intertwined. They felt one with Josh and Victoria.
EJ looked down at Kitten, her glowing face, her hair a halo around her head, and saw the smile on her face, along with a tear making it’s way down her cheek. He took his finger and trailed it down smearing the tear.
“Why are you crying?” EJ was worried that he had overstepped the boundaries of a gentleman, even though she had wanted him as much as he had wanted her.
“They’re tears of happiness. I feel like I should say welcome home. It feels like you’ve come home to me, but do you know how crazy that sounds?” Kitten traced EJ’s face and smiled. “Do you want to know something, EJ?” EJ looked down at Kitten, her nipples coming to life, along with her breathing that was coming more and more shallow, and he came to life.
His deep voice answered slowly, “What Kitten?” He kissed her swollen lips and closed his eyes, knowing he wanted her again, with such an intensity that he had never felt before.
“I didn’t think I would ever feel this way. So much passion, so much that it’s on the brink of pain.” Kitten prayed that EJ knew what she was talking about.
EJ knew that the time for talking was over. “Just feel Kitten.” He lowered his head and took her nipple in his mouth, feeling her arch under him. Her gasp drove him forward and he suckled there like it was his last meal. Kitten’s hands roamed his back sometimes her nails digging into his skin, sometimes the fingertips barely touching. EJ lifted himself and smiled at the sight. Her ivory skin was flushed pink, the blonde hair in stark contrast. Nipples standing straight up and he had to have another taste, but before he could, Kitten flipped over and straddled him.
Her hands touched his solid chest, the flat stomach, and then taking her fingertips and tracing those gorgeous lips of his. So soft with passion and ones she had to kiss again. Leaning over, she did just that. Her breasts teased his chest and he took his arms and banded her to him, like a vise holding her as close as she could get. His mouth opening wide and his tongue touching hers as she gasped in much needed air. Wrapping his hands in her hair to hold her in one place he knew much more and he would explode, so he let her go and watched as she raised up to lower herself back down. “You feel like velvet steel, EJ.” Kitten balanced on her hands that were on his chest as she lowered herself slowly and rose back up, teasing them both. Whispering words that were too low for EJ to hear, she leaned her head back, the ends of her hair touching his thighs. Just that light touch made him crazy and he flipped her on her back, eliciting a soft laugh from Kitten.
“Kitten, I can’t handle too much play right now. I’m going to explode.” EJ growled his words, which made her shudder. If only he knew how voices excited her.
“Then don’t hold back, EJ, give me all you have and then some.” EJ knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop. Kitten arched up harder each time and when he finally had his release, she was right there with him. He had never known someone who affected him in this capacity. EJ rolled off of Kitten, but held her in the circle of his arms, her head in the space of his shoulder. “I’ve never felt this way, about anyone, EJ. My heart pounds a mile a minute and I can see all of these small clips of you and me in my head, although I know it’s not us.” Kitten snuggled deeper into his embrace and closed her eyes. Just before she went to sleep she whispered in a soft, southern accent, “My love, you have found me.”
EJ closed his eyes too. It felt so right to be with her. His hands tracing the smooth soft cheek of her face and he whispered back, “Yes, my love, and this time, it’s forever.” EJ took Kitten in his arms and pulled her tight to his body. He just held her there drinking in the feeling of her warmth. After a few moments he looked at her face, seeing the tears stream down her cheeks. He traced them with his fingers and looked into her eyes with a kind smile. Cradling her rosy cheeks in his hands and stroking her soft skin ever so tenderly with his thumbs. EJ kissed her closed eyes softly. Longingly he looked at his Kitten as if trying to hold her image in his mind forever. How could two people have so much passion for one another in so short a time? How unlikely should they even meet. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was much like Victoria and Josh would have felt. Would destiny be cruel once again or would their fantasy yet come true?
Chapter Two
Kitten felt the caress on her cheeks knowing that it was the caress of good-bye. She kept her eyes closed, her breathing regular and deep, but it was hard to keep the tears from falling as EJ kissed her softly on the cheek. She didn’t rest completely until she felt him relax against her. Kitten knew he was hers, at least for the night. Sometime during the night, Kitten woke up to look at EJ, smiling that he was still there, but knowing he would be leaving soon. Her fingertips traced his cheek and lips and a peace settled in her heart when she heard a soft southern accent speak,
“Go ahead, Kitten, have him one last time, then you can let him go.” Before Kitten could say anything EJ woke up, looked at her and said in his deep, sleep roughened voice, “One last time, love. You and I can be together one last time.”
Kitten smiled at EJ knowing he heard it too, felt the same pull, same attraction as she did. “EJ, you have no idea what your voice does to me. Makes me have shivers down my spine, it reaches in and closes around my heart, like a vise, and I don’t want to ever lose this feeling.”
EJ closed his eyes as he rolled atop her, exhaling deeply. “My love, I don’t ever want you to lose this feeling. I don’t want to hurt you, but you know I have to go.” Kitten placed her mouth on his to shut him up. Her tongue searched for his and tangled wildly with it, her hands pulling at his head, her legs opening wide, knowing she was feeling this for the last time. EJ gasped for breath and lifted himself up to cover her breasts with his hand, to feel the hot ivory flesh, to taste her again. So very soft, her breast was, the color of peaches and cream, and he knew if he continued suckling he would hurt her. “Open your eyes Kitten. I want to remember this. I want to see your eyes widen when I enter you, I want to see us mirrored in your eyes.”
Kitten looked at EJ with all the love she felt, which she admitted to herself was crazy. She felt EJ stretch her to the point of breaking, and just when she thought she couldn’t handle anymore, EJ lifted her up and filled her totally. Kitten’s eyes stayed on EJ’s, knowing that she would always remember this feeling. She rose to meet every thrust, their heartbeats a rhythm against their chests every time they’d meet. “EJ, please, please.” Kitten drew out the two letters, making EJ crazy. He knew he would never hear his name again and not think of this. His name, softly drawn out again, came out of her mouth along with a high pitched moan. Her fingers clenched his back as she arched into his body. “Please EJ, please.” EJ looked down at his beauty. She lay there wrapped around him and arched one last time before he totally lost his control. Seconds or minutes passed, he wasn’t sure, but he knew that he had to go. “EJ, do me a favor?” He looked at her as he pulled her into his arms. “What, love. I’ll do anything in my power.”
“Hold me until I go to sleep. When you leave, I can’t watch. If I’m awake, I’ll never want to let you go.”
EJ knew his heart was breaking. He was tied to someone else, but his heart was breaking, nonetheless. He had never met anyone like Kitten, would never meet anyone like her. “I don’t want to ever let you go, Kitten, but I have to.” He kissed her lips softly, tenderly, tasted the trace of salt from her tears and pulled her tighter. “Sleep my love, just sleep.” When the sun rose over the plantation an hour later, illuminating the sunflowers and showing off their vibrant color, EJ still had Kitten wrapped in his arms. When she awoke with the sound of her horse whinnying outside in the corral, he was gone. In his place was a small piece of paper. With shaking hands she opened it up. All it said was, FOREVER, MINE, EJ. She turned her head into her pillow and cried.
Kitten knew that she would probably never see EJ again. He had been a miracle to her. Taught her about love, even if only for a day, but it was a day that she would live over again and again in her mind. She knew she had to get up and get ready for the day, but for the life of her, she just wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out, not until her heart stopped breaking, if that was even possible. She looked over again at the note where it had dropped on the bed and smiled. At least she had a little memento of their time, so it wouldn’t seem like a great love fantasy in the future. Kitten went ahead into the shower, not wanting to wash off EJ’s scent, that she wanted to keep with her forever, but she knew she had to get clean again.
EJ, on the other hand knew what he had to do. He had to go back to his home. His family was waiting for him and he hated knowing he broke their trust, and it would break their heart if they knew what he had done. For the hundredth time since leaving Kitten’s home, he thought back. He remembered the angelic look on her face. The way her lashes lay against her face as her eyes moved back and forth behind the lids, hopefully dreaming something peaceful, as the smile indicated on her mouth. Her delicate hands had been holding his and he had stroked them one last time before putting them against her cheek. EJ had leaned over and softly kissed her lips one last time before getting out of the bed. After getting dressed he had whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry that this will hurt you. I never meant to. I never thought such feelings existed for me.” He went to her dressing table and wrote her a note before putting it on her pillow. A stab of pain entered his chest as he walked out the door. He knew it was for the best, but in his thoughts he knew he should have never come here. History had proven correct once again as he left the same way Josh had left.
Kitten dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen where there was juice waiting for her, just like always. Her housekeeper, Lissa, looked at Kitten as she walked in. Before Lissa could say anything, Kitten held up a hand and a sad smile was to be seen. “Not now, Lissa. Not when I lost something I don’t think I ever had.” Lissa nodded as she walked up the back stairs Kitten turned and walked out on to the porch. Could it have been less than 24 hours ago that EJ had come driving into her life? Gazing out onto the sunflowers which shone brightly in the morning sun, she smiled. Her mama had always said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But then again, her mama had never known the aching passion she had, or did she? Did her mama know just all too well the same passion that she and Miss Victoria had known? Where were those diaries and journals? Kitten left her juice, and with a determined smile on her face, climbed into the attic. It was past time to face reality and find out exactly what her mama and Miss Victoria had meant when they had wrote, decades apart, “A love is never lost if you can still remember and see in your mind’s eye the passion you once knew.”
EJ drove back to Maine, Kitten on his mind. He knew he hurt her, but he couldn’t help himself. If he had the chance to hold her, to kiss her, to touch her once more, he would, no matter the consequence. As he pulled into his driveway, he saw his wife standing on the porch, the flowers she had been nursing waving gently behind her in the breeze. This was going to devastate her. If only he didn’t have to tell her the news, but EJ wasn’t that type of person. He got out of his car and looked at the home they had bought together. This was no plantation, but it was modest, and filled with love. He looked at his wife, at the radiant smile she had on her face. “Candra.” EJ went to her and kissed her lips lovingly. “You’re just like your name means, luminescent.” Candra laughed as she hugged EJ back. EJ couldn’t help but compare the women. Candra had medium length brown hair with gold shot through it that you could see in the sun. Her eyes were soft, always full of love, a bright periwinkle blue, and her lips were always in the shape of a smile. Just thinking of Kitten’s hair and her soft voice made EJ again regret hurting his wife.
“EJ, what’s the matter? You did find what you were looking for, right? Your trip went well?” Candra held EJ’s hand as she led him to the rocking chair on the front porch.
“My trip was well, but I need to tell you something.” EJ hung closed his eyes as he tried to find the words.
“There’s no need. I felt something akin to sorrow early this morning and again about an hour ago. I have a feeling you found what you were looking for and then some. Your feelings you wear on your sleeve, and I know you are in a great deal of pain, inside your heart. Your feelings are torn by what you want and what you have. I’ll be here waiting when you get it all figured out, and I’ll be by your side while you’re doing it.”
EJ looked at Candra. How could this gentle lady know?
Meanwhile, Kitten was looking through her mother’s diary when she noticed an en entry marked with a folded corner page. It was titled, The Day HE Came Back. Kitten was intrigued. She sat on the floor her back against her hope chest and started reading. I had a feeling today would be special. I had been sitting on the veranda, a glass of cold ice water wrapped in my hand. It was so very hot today. Watching the long acres of hay being harvested, I noticed a gentleman walking up. What a sight to see. He spoke to my foreman, and I thought he just wanted a job. Too bad we didn’t have any available for him, and to tell the truth, I would have given him something just to watch him all day. The gentleman came up with George, my foreman, who looked stumped to say the least. He had been introduced to me as Jaret. All I could think was that he was the epitome of a man. His hat had been taken off his head to show the brown hair, just starting to turn gray around the temples. His eyes held me entranced. Blue as the sky and just as endless. His face had the look of elegance, and the smile pulled me to him. His body was as hard as a washboard, and looked just as unyielding. His hand outstretched to take mine and my eyes closed on a rush of desire so strong it almost took me to the ground. Kitten smiled. She knew that type of desire. If she didn’t know better her mama could have been talking about EJ. She closed the diary for a second and relived the first touch. Shaking her head, she went back to reading.
He told me that his grandfather had stayed here. I knew he looked familiar. This must be Josh’s grandson. So Josh did find his way back to his lovely wife. Mama had said that he had to go back, it was his duty. I introduced myself and I told him that his grandfather did indeed stay here and took him up to where the room was preserved with the rebel gear that mama had given Josh to wear, only to leave it as a memory for her. I don’t know what came over me in that room. It was like I had gone back in time as had he. I felt like HE had come home to me again. How can that be when I had never seen him? He touched more than my body, he touched my very soul. I never want him to go, although he has said he has to leave come morning. I told him he could have the black stallion , Shilo, to remember me by, also a way for him to get home. Although, Maine is a very long way to go on horseback from here. Jaret and I barely slept tonight. Right now he is changing back into his clothes to go back. So very strange as it feels like we’ve done this before. A soft southern voice, that sounds strangely like mama, keeps telling me that we’ll find our way again. All I know is I will never find love again. One night, one glorious night, and I know what love is, and what it feels like to have it leave me. I always thought Kitten’s daddy was the love of my life, but I was wrong. Jaret I will never forget or try to replace. I hope he gets back to his wife and that this night, although wrong, will forever live in his mind, but will never come between him and her. Good-bye my love. You will never know how long I’ve waited for you, and will continue to wait for you.
Kitten closed the pages when she noticed her tears dropping on the sheets. So Miss Victoria and her mama felt the same things in that room. Maybe it was meant to be for only one night. Maybe Josh and Jaret knew they found their love, but due to duty went back because it was the right thing to do and Kitten couldn’t fault them for that. She stood up and walked to her window looking out at the corral where a shiny black stallion ran back and forth. Was it coincidence that her stallion was also named Shilo? Funny how she had bought the stallion two months prior from a breeder in Maine. Shocked, she ran down the curved stairway to the den to get the paperwork. Chamberlain Farms, Bar Harbor, Maine. A cruel twist of fate, or destiny waiting to be realized? Only time would tell.
EJ held Candra’s hand and smiled at her. “Yes, I found what I was looking for, actually I found more than I bargained for.” His eyes closed and again he pictured her, this time sitting atop him, and he knew he had to stop.
“Do you want to tell me about her?” EJ jerked his head to his wife, a look of pure shock on his face as he met the smiling face of his wife. “I know you think about her, but maybe, just maybe, if you tell me about her, it might be a little easier. Rest assured, my love, I won’t be jealous.”
EJ took a deep breath and began. “She looked just like Josh had described Miss Victoria, minus the petticoats and skirt, of course. Her hair was long, to her waist, a beautiful blonde color. It was like we already knew each other as soon as I got to her porch. An invisible force was pulling me toward her. I asked to see Josh’s room, which she took me to, and something took over in me. I can’t explain the feeling I had and I won’t try to condone it either. Candra, I am sorry, but it felt like I had to choose between the past and present. Do you want to know something even stranger?”
She leaned her head to the side and nodded for EJ to go on. “When the request came to purchase Shilo a couple of months ago, it came from Kitten Chambers, Triple C Plantation, North Carolina. I didn’t put two and two together until I walked onto that land and saw Shilo in the corral. How was I to know that my Shilo came from Miss Alysia’s Shilo? I know it was a request from my Daddy to name Shilo’s offspring the same name and I didn’t understand why, but now I do.” EJ leaned back and finally smiled. “He wanted to keep a part of her with him always, and that was the only way to do it.”
Candra nodded and stood. “I’ll be in the house if you need me.” She had to leave, just for a minute. Even though she said she wouldn’t be jealous, it was still there.
Back at Triple C Plantation, Kitten was still looking over the bill of sale, not believing what she was seeing. Jaret had taken her mama’s prize stallion, bred it, and she had the offspring in her corral. It had to be fate. Could Kitten walk away from something that was forbidden? She wasn’t brought up this way. He had a wife, he belonged to her, he didn’t belong to Kitten.
As she thought about her situation, Lissa walked in looking baffled. “Did you clean The General’s room?” Kitten shook her head. Other than putting fresh sheets on the bed, and putting the yankee gear back on the bed, nothing was changed.
“Why?” Kitten ascended the back staircase to the locked room, only it wasn’t locked. The air smelled like verbena, the drapes were pulled back from the windows, letting the sunlight stream in, and the yankee hat was laying on the pillow. “I didn’t do that.” Kitten looked at Lissa. “I swear I didn’t do that.”
Lissa smiled and walked away. As she descended the stairs she called back, “Miss Victoria must be in a cleaning mood today.”
Kitten laughed as she again locked the door. What else was she to think? Right before she clicked the lock into place a soft southern accent said, “You’ll have your chance again.” Kitten just shook her head. Hearing the telephone ring, she rushed down the stairs to answer it. One of these days she was going to have to get a phone upstairs. “Hello? Triple C Plantation.”
There was an indrawn breath then a deep drawl that Kitten would never forget. “Why can’t I just leave you alone?”, then he was gone. Kitten stood holding the phone, disbelieving who’s voice she just heard.
EJ stood by his car getting out his luggage and closed his cell phone. Why couldn’t he just let it be? He had just promised himself that he would get on with his and Candra’s life, then he called her. What a hypocrite he was. He slammed his trunk down, put the bags on the porch and went to his corral where he saddled up one of the horses and took off like there was the demons of Hell after him.
Kitten hung up the phone, told Lissa she was going to be in the attic if there were any calls, and raced back to her sanctuary. Picking up the stacks of journals and diaries, she went to the one she hadn’t read yet. Miss Victoria’s last journal was tied with a yellow ribbon. Inside was a couple of pressed flowers and nothing exciting the first few pages, but then an entry marked FOREVER, MINE showed up, reminding Kitten of what EJ wrote. I swear I saw Josh today. I had to go into town for supplies and I wanted to visit some of the ladies that I hadn’t seen in a while. In the general store getting flour, sugar, and some feed for my horses, there was a gentleman that approached. He asked for gunpowder and was told to wait for a second until they loaded my wagon up. He looked at me, and I know those eyes, those deep eyes that stared into my soul just years before. How could I forget those? The storekeeper told me the total and called me by name, and the gentleman just looked, his face sort of ashen at the time. As I was paying for my purchases the gentleman excused himself and went outside. I talked for a while until everything was loaded and walked out. I never saw the gentleman again, but when I came home and had the bolt of fabric to use on a new dress, a piece of paper dropped out, saying Forever, Mine. It was smudged, and it wasn’t signed, but I know who it came from. As I prepared myself for bed tonight, I heard the whisper through the trees sounding like my name. Throughout the night I head my name whispered on the breeze that came through the window. Right before dawn I heard my name, once again, whispered in my ear. I turned my head and opened my eyes to see the sky just starting to turn to shades of red, orange, and yellow, reflecting not only the rising sun, but the smoke in the distance of the ongoing battle. My eyes felt heavy, so I closed them once more and felt myself gathered into strong arms I knew from before. I whispered his name, he whispered back. A kiss so soft it could have been the whisper of wind touched my face and I heard him say, “Forever, mine.” When I awakened later, there was nothing there, not even an imprint of another body to prove that my fantasy was reality, except for the note I had on my mirror. It was now on my pillow. Was it the wind that brought it floating down, or did Josh somehow come in here and put it there. I don’t think I will ever know. I just know that I miss him terribly. Every passing day I think of my Yankee Gentleman and I die a little inside because I know he will never be back.
Kitten closed the book after marking the page with the ribbon. What emotions Miss Victoria had. They were the same that flowed through her and she knew, her mama. If only life weren’t so difficult. Looking at her watch, she saw it was time to exercise the horses. Going out, she saddled up Shilo and went racing through the pasture to the lake that was on the other side. Shilo loved grazing on the grass and then wading through the lake to cool off. If she weren’t scared of being caught, she’d do it too. Her thoughts ran rampant as she galloped through the tall grass.
EJ stood next to the small pond where his horse was drinking out of. He knew what he had promised Candra, God, and himself, but he still wanted her, too. Was this how his daddy and Josh felt? Wanting every minute what he knew he could never have? He picked up a stone and tossed it into the pond, watching the ripples circle outward. Toward the center he could have swore he saw her face. Great, now he was hallucinating. Throwing another one, he saw the same thing, and she looked so sad. Yep, he was truly gone. Seeing things that weren’t there, imagining them, nonetheless, and, after throwing one more, he simply said the words only his wife should hear, “I love you.”
Kitten was sitting by the bank when she heard the words float across the lake. Looking around she knew her mind was playing tricks on her. It was EJ’s voice, but he was nowhere to be seen. Kitten knew she had to get a life. After he said the words he saw the vision in the water look up and he took a step forward, then back in shock. What was he doing?
“I love you, too.”
The words came back so clear that he actually thought Kitten was standing behind him. Turning around, he got back on his horse and rode back to the house, swearing this part he would not be telling Candra.
Kitten said it back and it felt right to say those words. Calling Shilo she went ahead and walked the horse home. The rest of the afternoon went in a blur, and that night, after her soak in a hot bath, went to bed with Miss Victoria’s last journal in hand. There were small snippets about how the plantation was going into ruin, the slaves that had died defending the plantation from the fire that was started. Then came one of the saddest entries that Kitten had read, simply titled, ARE YOU REAL? I woke up this morning and the sadness in my soul was inconsolable. Like somebody had died that I was close to. My usual thought in the morning besides Lily is Josh, but today he was blurred around the edges. No longer vibrant in color, but muted, like a color that has been out in the sun too long. I tried to recall the sound of his voice and all I could hear was the sound of the gunfire in the distance. Memories have never failed me before and I’m beginning to wonder if Josh Chamberlain actually existed. Did we share something together or was it just a figment of my imagination? If I could just see him once more, hear his voice once more I would know the answers. I know that he had a family back home and I prayed that he found them alive, but I needed him too. Needed him to assure me of life, to let me know I am passionate, that I am a woman. If there was a way for me to find him just to touch his face once more, to feel those lips on mine once more, to have him touch me like only one other man has in my life, and let me hold onto him as the rays of sun rise over the hayfields of this plantation and ask him to never let me go. I know his answer would be to remain silent because he could never make that promise, but to be held in those strong arms once more, would be worth any tears I would cry later. Just to know that he was real. Lord above, watching us down below, please watch over my Josh. Please let him be safe and let the muted colors of his memory leave so I can have the vibrant colors back in my life. Kitten stared at the prayer on the page, the same prayer she had heard her mama say every night. She wondered if Miss Victoria ever found out that Josh did make it home. She wanted to read more, but she was bone tired. Weary wasn’t in Kitten’s dictionary, she usually rode hard, worked hard, played hard, but her soul was weary tonight, she closed her eyes reciting the same prayer she had read. In her dreams she heard EJ whispering her name and she spoke aloud, right before sleeping, “EJ, if you can hear me, please know I will wait for eternity for you, will love you until eternity takes my very soul and if it takes eternity for you to hold me in your arms again, I will wait until that time.” In Kitten’s mind as she succumbed to sleep, she heard a deep voice say, “My Kitten, I’m yours for eternity.”
Kitten went into a deep sleep and felt EJ’s loving and protective arms come around her. “I’ll never leave you again, Kitten, not even for death.”
Chapter Three
Kitten was awakened the next morning by Lissa shaking her awake at dawn. “What is it? Is it mama?”
“Yes, it’s your mama. She wants to talk to you. She sounds fine Miss Kitten.”
Kitten drew a deep breath, the sick feeling she had in the pit of her stomach left her. Without her mama she had no one left. Her grandma Lily had passed on years before. Rushing down the stairs, Kitten took the phone. “Mama? What’s wrong?” Kitten didn’t want to hear any bad news, and calling at this time of day, it was always bad news.
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I want you to come get something from me. I’ve been thinking a lot about the past and it’s something you need to see. You come to me, and I’ll explain it all.” Alysia hung up the phone without Kitten saying anything.
Knowing her mama would be waiting and driving the nurses crazy at the nursing home, Kitten went up the stairs and dressed in her best and as fast as she could. Putting on her makeup, doing her hair up like her mama liked it, she did indeed look like a southern belle. The white dress, white gloves, and white shoes were her mama’s favorite, Kitten was just glad she didn’t have to wear the hoops and corsets her mama and grandparents had. Getting into the SUV she started the half hour drive into the city, wondering what in the world her mama had that she needed so bad. Kitten pulled up at the nursing home her mama had insisted in moving into a couple of years ago. Walking in, she nodded at the nurses, knowing that Alysia had already bragged that her “baby sweetheart” was coming in. She walked into the room and saw her mama sitting in the rocking chair looking out the window at the rising sun. “Hi Mama. I was going to come up and see you tomorrow.”
Alysia looked over at her daughter and smiled. “Hi baby sweetheart. I thought it was past time for you to see these. I had been thinking a lot over the last week. I know you have my diary and your great-grandma’s, but you don’t have your grandma’s. I’ve reread them and know that they are something you need to read.”
Kitten took the stack of bound books and sat on the bed. “Mama, I had a visitor the other day. He came to see The General’s room.”
Alysia turned sharply and looked at Kitten. “He was a Chamberlain, wasn’t he?” At Kitten’s nod she smiled. “What was his name?”
“His name is EJ, mama. I fell for him in a heartbeat. He looks just like Josh and Jaret from their descriptions. He left yesterday and went back home.”
Alysia stood and went to Kitten, hugging her tightly. “Went back to Maine, didn’t he? Went back to his family. We are cursed, this family is. We find the love of our life and they already have one. Of course, we do find someone else, but it’s late in life. You know you’ll never see him again. Just like Miss Victoria and Josh, Miss Lily and Elijah, and Jaret and me. It was never meant to be.”
Kitten shook her head. “I can’t believe that. Miss Victoria saw Josh again, a couple of years later. It was in a journal I found that was bound by yellow ribbon. If Miss Lily and you never saw them again, maybe it wasn’t meant to be, but I will find out. Remember Shilo, your horse? I have one of the offspring, also called Shilo, that came from EJ’s horse breeding farm. I think that’s how he found me, but he did find me, Mama.”
Alysia looked over at Kitten, who had tears in her eyes. “Ah, baby sweetheart, please don’t cry. With your courage and determination, I think you might get your prince charming, or die trying.”
Kitten looked at her watch, knowing she still had to go to the feed store today and it was on the opposite end of the county. “Mama, I have to leave. I’ll stop by later if you want.” Kitten hated leaving Alysia, thinking it was the last time she was ever see her.
“It’s okay, Kitten. I have a canasta game that I’m going to win this afternoon against that crotchety old man across the hall. If I win, I get his strawberry jello and if I lose, well, he’s not getting mine.” Kitten laughed with Alysia. “Now baby sweetheart, you take those journals and diaries and read them slowly. Enjoy getting to know your grandma. I love you baby girl.”
Kitten hugged Alysia hard and kissed her soft cheek. “I love you too, Mama.” Kitten went on and did her errands, coming back to the house and finally getting out of the white dress and gloves, she slid into her jeans and a tee shirt, because she did have barn work to do. Taking her long hair and winding it around into a bun, she secured it with pins and headed out into the stables. All the while, working, her mind kept going back to the journals. She couldn’t wait to read what was in them. The question was, would they tell the future, like the others, or would they finally give her hope that she would see her EJ again?
Laying in bed that night, Kitten wondered whether she should go ahead and read the journals. Maybe it was just about Miss Lily’s life at the plantation during Miss Victoria’s time and her own mama’s time when she was a baby. Shaking her head with self recrimination, she went ahead and picked up the journal that was on top. Looking through the entries most of them had to do with the battles that were around them, small ones, nothing ever major, at least none that Kitten could remember when she was in school. Entries about when Miss Lily’s daddy passed away and Miss Victoria ran the plantation on her own, soon to be a family tradition, unfortunately passed from generation to generation.
Halfway through the journal came the entry marked, The Best Birthday Present. Today is my 20th birthday. My wish had been for my daddy to have seen me hit this milestone, I think he would have been proud. Mama keeps telling me that something special always happens on your twentieth birthday, but I didn’t have much hope of that. Shilo had jumped the fence yet again, and I ended up falling in the pond trying to get her. Odd, though, I heard my name whispered through the trees, and remember mama saying the same thing several times after she would come back from riding to the pond. After washing up as best I could and trying to redo the hair that was on top of my head after the fall in the pond, I decided to just keep it down. Daddy used to call my hair spun gold up and liquid gold on the nights when he would see mama brushing it. Mama went ahead and fried a chicken for supper and we had the last few potatoes, baked. Mama actually made a large tub of butter today, so I went ahead and put some on the potato, melted in my mouth. Then came the surprise she saved for last. Enough flour and lard for a small cake. We haven’t had one in what seems like forever and it tasted like a small slice of heaven. Mama and I were interrupted when Doc rode by and she had to leave to help birth a woman on the other side of the county. Since mama is one of only ones they call on, hardly a week goes by that she is not called on by the doc at least once. I had been talking to Miss Grace about tomorrow’s duties and whether we were going to start canning, when the knock came on the front door. Grace went to answer it, but I told her I would get it and sent her off to her cottage out back. I knew I was breaking the rules, but something told me to answer that door. Standing on the other side was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. Dark hair surrounded a face that had me longing to touch it, to trace it. Forbidden thoughts ran through my mind of hot, steamy kisses with those lips. I could imagine the tingling sensation that the moustache would cause, and a smile came to my mouth with those thoughts. “Hello, can I help you?” Manners always overruled my emotions, at least they should have, but I was finding it harder and harder to remember the manners I had been taught since I had hit Miss Grace after she had reprimanded me for going outside without her permission at the time. Shaking my head slightly I looked back at the gentleman that was smiling in the doorway. “Excuse me ma’am, but I’m looking for Miss Victoria Chambers. Could you please tell her that Elijah Chamberlain is here?” I remember just staring at that fascinating mouth. “Ma’am?” I looked up at him again and smiled. “I’m sorry, but Miss Victoria is at a birthing right now. Can I help you? I’m Miss Lily Chambers, her daughter.” Elijah stared at me like I wasn’t really here for a second before he smiled at me again. “Pleased to me you, Miss Lily Chambers. I was sent here by my father, Josh Chamberlain. I was to find Miss Victoria and give her a personal message.” Suddenly manners kicked in and I invited him in to sit in the study where the lamps were still lit.” Kitten couldn’t believe that there were conversations written in Miss Lily’s journal. It was as if Miss Lily wrote it down then everything could be remembered. Kitten closed her eyes and could picture them sitting there. If Elijah had been half as handsome as EJ was , then she couldn’t fault for Miss Lily forgetting her manners. If EJ would show up now, Kitten doubted she would have any manners as she would have to drag him back upstairs and - Kitten didn’t finish that thought. Instead she opened the journal back up, snuggled deeper into her pillow and resumed where she left off.
Elijah scooted toward the edge of mama’s brocade reading chair and took my hand. The touch sent the hairs on my arm to stand on end and if I wouldn’t have been sitting, I would have melted in a puddle at his booted feet. He looked at me at asked if I had ever heard of Josh Chamberlain and I said I had heard mama talk about him for years and told him that the room he had stayed in when he was here was still like it was left and asked if he wanted to see it. All I remember is him looking into my eyes and whispering, “I would love to.” He took my fingers and wound his in between mine as I led him up the winding staircase toward the first door on the right. That room was always in pristine condition, never touched, never redone. Elijah went over and looked at the General’s hat that he had worn to cover up the fact he was Yankee. After looking at the rest of the General’s things, he said he had to leave since Miss Victoria wasn’t back and he would come another day. I didn’t want him to go so I asked him to stay for a little while, even though I knew mama wouldn’t be back until at least late tomorrow. She always stayed to make sure the baby would be just fine, and this baby was a firstborn, so I knew it would probably take longer. “I shouldn’t stay here any longer because it’s not really appropriate for us to be together without anyone here.” Elijah had turned to leave the General’s room when I couldn’t help myself, but to touch his face. I reached up to him as I brought his face down to mine, fitting my mouth over his. If God would have stricken me dead, I wouldn’t have stopped kissing him, I couldn’t have stopped. He whispered, “Forgive me,” and resumed the kiss again, this time pushing his tongue in my mouth. What an intimate and intoxicating sensation, one I could not get enough of. Elijah pulled my body to fit to his and I could feel the effect of the kissing on him. I was scared, but oh, so very excited. I was brazen enough to take his hands and put them on the buttons of my dress. I wanted him to undress me. Strange sensations fueled me on. As his hands made easy work of the tiny buttons, my hands went to his waistband to where I caught the button and undid them, took off the suspenders and let the pants drop. Before I knew it my dress, petticoats and stockings were on the floor, my stockings caught in my shoes, but I couldn’t move. His mouth was on my nipples and I held onto his head, never wanting that sensation to leave. Within a few minutes all of our clothes were off and we were on that sacred bed, the clothing that was there, lay carefully now on the rocking chair, the covers flung to the end of the bed, and the door locked from the inside, just for good measure. Elijah covered me with his body, kissing his way down my stomach and making me squirm from the unfamiliar longings I was having. My hand was bold as I reached for him and felt the thick, hot, but soft as silk shaft extending from his body. Elijah’s mouth between my legs brought my body to release almost immediately. It felt like I was falling through time and space. There are many books that I’ve read that have only described vaguely the feelings I’m having now. When Elijah came back over top of my body and kissed me again I wanted even more. I spread my legs and begged him to make me his. I looked into his blazing blue eyes, illuminated by the moon outside, as he pushed into me. The pain left almost immediately and I wrapped myself around him as he urged me faster and faster toward something just out of reach. Elijah took my earlobe in between his teeth and bit down slightly and that sensation, combined with him rubbing back and forth propelled me forward and the feeling in me was like a piece of string pulled taut to where it was almost breaking and then it happened. Lights exploding behind my eyelids, the feeling of me falling over a cliff, heads over heels, never wanting to stop, and the feeling of Elijah pushing down on me until he stiffened and called out my name. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Lily sound so beautiful. It might have been a second or an hour later that we both moved. Elijah and I shared one last sweet kiss before we dressed, put the room back in order, and walked down the stairs. He looked at me and said, “Tell Miss Victoria these words Lily. “I’m at home, but I’m not home, will never be home until I’m wrapped in your loving arms again. I love you.” “Will I ever see you again?” I had to know. I couldn’t let him leave me if I knew he would never be back. He looked at me and shook his head. “You have to let me go, but always remember I’ll be here within you.” He put his hand on my breast. “Your heart will always carry my love.” I remember telling mama the next evening when she came home and she cried and locked herself in the General’s room for hours. She came down right before I went to bed and told me the story of her love. If Elijah and I are as ill fated as Josh and mama were, at least I had one night to know love.
Kitten felt the tears on her cheek as a breeze blew through the open window. She marked the page she was on and closed the journal, setting it on the nightstand. Her cell phone rang and she jumped. It was late at night, and those calls were emergencies. “Hello?”
“It’s just me.” A deep voice whispered to her and it seemed like he was right there with her. “Are you there?”
Kitten caught her breath and with it, tried to stop her heart from pounding a mile a minute. “I’m here.” Her voice wavered.
“What’s the matter?” EJ could hear the terror in her voice.
“I thought it was mama, that something happened.”
EJ hadn’t even thought about the time, but it was because Candra was sleeping, and he was still breaking his promise not to contact her. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to go?”
Kitten couldn’t bear that and she told him so. “Why did you call?”
EJ looked at the books on his lap. “I read about Miss Victoria and Josh, Miss Lily and Elijah, but tonight I read about Miss Alysia and my dad Jaret. I’ve had the books, I’ve read and reread them, but never set down and really read Jaret’s account. It made me, no I needed to, call and hear your voice. Just one last time. Always remember Kitten, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to have anything happen.” Kitten’s tears returned, along with the desire in the pit of her stomach at just his voice brought. “I know you didn’t EJ, but I don’t blame you. Just tell me something. Why do I hear your voice in the breeze, saying my name, hearing I love you? Why?”
EJ was shocked to his core. “You heard that? I could have sworn I saw you beside a pond today when I threw a stone in there. You were so sad. I had to say it.”
Kitten smiled. Maybe they were connected more than they even knew. “Did you hear my answer?”
EJ smiled. “I did.”
She looked toward the ceiling in her room, then out at the full moon bathing the pasture with light. Hearing Shilo in the corral whinny, she came back to him on the phone. “Just remember, EJ, I do and I always will.”
EJ caught his breath. He still couldn’t understand how they could even consider this love with only one meeting, and one glorious night of lovemaking and he asked her that.
“How couldn’t we EJ? We were brought together by history, met by fate, and who knows what our destiny together is?”
EJ closed his eyes and saw her in his mind’s eye. Just wanting to touch her once more, knowing she was forbidden to him, made him even more sad. “I have to go, Kitten, but do me a favor?”
“What?” She looked at the clouds racing in front of the moon that she could see through her window.
He spoke softly and made his voice even deeper. “Say my name.”
Kitten shivered and spoke softly to him, “EJ.”
The name slid off his spine and into his heart, through his veins, and his whole being vibrated with desire. “Ahh, my Kitten.” And then he was gone.Do not be sad. There will be a time when you’ll see him again.
To read this book in it's entirety, go to:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Yankee-Gentleman-Southern-Belle/dp/1479317993/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349840794&sr=8-1&keywords=the+yankee+gentleman+and+his+southern+belle
It's available on Amazon and Kindle.
To read this book in it's entirety, go to:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Yankee-Gentleman-Southern-Belle/dp/1479317993/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349840794&sr=8-1&keywords=the+yankee+gentleman+and+his+southern+belle
It's available on Amazon and Kindle.
